I want....................

"You ask and do not receive

because you ask amiss,

that you may spend it on your pleasures."

James 4:3

I was sitting in a doctors office the other day and chanced to pick up a small devotional book that caught my attention.leafing through it I saw a devotional entitled : "Me First". It .set me to thinking of how much I may have fit the mold.

A lot of us, who grew up in the Great Depression, did not enjoy the little frills of life. Perhaps some were able to get anything they wanted, but in my case nothing really came without effort. I was fortunate that my father was able to work, and we had food and necessities. Christmas was always good but in many cases gifts were home-made. I remember that I could say "I want that..." when we were in a store but more often than not, my father or mother would say, "I know you WOULD LIKE that, but we can't afford it right now." Fact of the matter is, there wasn't that much extra that we could afford bargain -price Saturday afternoon movies

Fortunately, I wasn't afraid to work doing things like pitching hay, shoveling manure, stacking a woodpile, or mowing lawns throughout our community. I didn't earn much but it was enough for a candy bar or two, a nickel soda, nails for my "cabin" upstream from our house, and cheap doo-dads from the local dime store.

When I reached adulthood I was convinced that our children would not suffer the privation I had experienced in childhood. But in honesty, I wanted to make up for lost time getting 'stuff" I wanted. .Christmas would roll around and we'd spend money we really couldn't afford. .I remember pawning a bowling ball one time so we would have hot dogs and beans for Thanksgiving. I wanted the latest hi-fi, stereo, color television, or car, even if it was at the expense of important things.

All those memories came back to haunt me when I saw that little devotional. I realized that there was a big difference between "I want" and "I need." I don't think I heard God very clearly when God was warning me about the hazards of the "I wants..".More likely I wasn't paying attention when His message was to live life according to his guidance - I was simply trying to do things MY way.

I hear Him more clearly today. There are still a thing or two I'd like but now there is a voice in my soul reminding me that other priorities are more important. I've come to the conclusion that needs are far more important than wants. I only wish I had heeded my conscience - God's voice - a whole lot sooner.

Father in heaven:

Even with our transgressions,

our selfish desires  and  preoccupations,

you still watch over us

and love us

in spite of ourselves.

AMEN

l

The Frailty of Life

"You do not even know what tomorrow will

bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that

appear for a little while and then vanishes."

James 4:14

Somewhere, far back in my life, somebody came up to me one day and asked me a strange question: "Why is a duck?"  Weird question, I thought. I tried to think of some logical answer and there just seemed to be no answer. So, I looked back at my friend, a quizzical look on my face, and said, "Well, why IS a duck? His answer, "Because."

Well, if you think that is a strange question, think of all those you've asked yourself and couldn't come up with an answer.Especially when it is a question why things happen to some people - or, for that matter why things happen to you.  Especially when the questions relate to life. Why do some people go through life enduring pain? Why do bad things happen to good people and sometimes bad people seem to get off Scott free? Why do some people die too young?

I'm reminded of a very good friend of mine from sixty years ago. He was tall and gangly, a really fun guy to be around. We bowled candle pins together in a Massachusetts bowling lead. It's a tricky game - ten skinny pins and three shots with small bowling balls and pins that are knocked down are left to be played with standing pins. Very tricky - and you are lucky to have an average of 110 or so. I made a lot of misses and so did my friend. And when he made a miss he wrinkled up his face in a wry grin and say, "No luck"  It was that way one Tuesday night - and on Wednesday morning at work he didn't come in. He had died in the middle of the night. Why him - a young active guy in good health?  Why?

Life is filled with whys that seem to have no answers. Why does something bad seem to happen to a good person? Why did I have colon cancer and survive 30 years when a guy down the hall not make it? Was I better than him? I doubt it. Why did so many innocent people die on 9/11? Was it their fault they were where they were, or was it intended for them to die? There have been fatalists (I think of men in wars past) who have said "I'm not going to think about it - there's likely a bullet meant just for me - when my time comes, my time comes."

 I'd rather think of life in terms of living life to the fullest. Not thinking about death, and not worrying that much about tomorrow. Worry is like a cancer - it eats at you from the inside out. On the other hand, at my ripe age in the eighties, I'm just glad to be able to get out of bed in the morning and realize that God has given me at least one more day to do something that makes life better. I pray that God will open some kind of a door for me to move a few more inches in life and thank Him for all the doors he's opened over the years.

That's not to say that there haven't been life challenges. Family. Work. Health. But a simple faith has always seen response. God has answered prayers. Not necessarily the way I expected but always offering strength for the next day. Sometimes with opportunities. Sometimes with joy. Sometimes with peace during pain. Certainly with assurance when I felt it impossible to cope with frustrations and doubts. No matter what, God is.

Lord, God:

remind me that I am loved

and that you are my strength and

support in all my days.

AMEN

Be Careful of What you ask for

We have heard of Moab's pride,

his great pride,

his outrageous pride and arrogance

his empty boasting

Isaiah 16:6

Like a lot of other people, I've had my moments of being overly self-assured. Case in point: there was a time when a friend involved in publishing asked if I would undertake writing a book on Christian witnessing for young people. I felt it would be an easy task since we had five children at home and we were involved with youth at our church. I said, "Sure, when do you want it?" "Yesterday," was his response. I told him I would work on it when I got home.

That's exactly what I did - I started writing and everytime I started, the things I was thinking of ended up on the floor in a wadded-up ball of paper which accumulated as the hours and days went by.

By the end of the week nothing had worked out. It seemed as though the self assurance I had started with was gone and I was frustrated. Finally I decided to pray for guidance. I said to God, "I can't do this task and I need your help." Immediately it was as though a spotlight had lit; all kinds of ideas flashed through my head. In a matter of days the manuscript had gone together. And when I next talked to my friend he asked when I would have an outline and my response was, "I don't have an outline - I have the entire book." When it was published there was only one editorial change - one word in the entire book.

Some time later I started work on another book completing an outline and several chapters and submitted it to the publisher. He said that it was a nice book but not one they would be interested in publishing. I asked why and he replied, "Your other book shared a personal witness; this new one preaches. If you find a way to let the experience of God speak through your writing, you'll have a winner." Needless to say, I had forgotten to pray for guidance.

I've always been grateful for that lesson. We, by ourselves, don't offer much, but through God, and prayer, all things are possible.

Dear Lord God:

Help us to know that you hear our prayers

and though your answers me not be

what we expect, your answers

are there

AMEN

A Letter to God

Lord, listen closely to me

and answer me

because I am poor and in need

Psalm 86:1                                             

Dear Father,

I'm sorry I haven't written sooner but I've been really busy. I mean to keep in touch but time seems to fly by. (Maybe you've heard the statement, "Time flies when you're having fun"?)

Work has been keeping me very busy; I haven't had much time for family, much less church. When you think  about it, the job has to come first doesn't it? Gotta put bread on the table, you know.

My wife has been a real grouch lately; all she wants to do is talk about family stuff, or she's after me to take her out somewhere. I don't see why she should be bored, after all, she has housework and the kids to keep her occupied. Jimmy's been having problems at school. I guess I'll have to take time off from work and go talk with his teachers. I don't know why these teachers can't take care of these "kid-problems" anymore; it seems as though the teachers want parents to do everything, even teach discipline. I thought that was what schools were for.

I can't understand something in your last letter, God. You said something about having trouble with some of your family and you wish we could talk once in a while. I don't know about your problems, Father, but I know that I'm a bit overloaded with my own and I haven't got time to take on somebody elses. I know you need help, but isn't there someone else who can give you a hand with your churches? After all, you have a pretty big family.

        Lovingly.                   

                  A member of the family of God

                                   Lord, forgive my complacency

                                                    and preoccupation  with self

                                                                       AMEN

                                                                     

Doing Life

Do all the good you can,

By all the means you can,

In all the ways you can.

In all the places you can,

At all the times you can,

To all the people you can,

As long as ever you can.

John Wesley                                                     

It's been a sad time. Two friends have passed away recently and it has caused me to reflect on life, and how we spend our lives.

There are those who wonder if life has been worth the effort. They focus on the "what-ifs" in their lives. What if I had done things differently? What if I had gone further in school? What if I had taken a particular job when I had the chance? What if I had dared to do something or go somewhere when it seemed to offer an opportunity? What if? What if?

The two friends I mentioned may have asked the question one or two times in their lives. Maybe more. But they did not FOCUS on the question. They seemed to reflect the words of Wesley and lived lives as best they could. Each of them, one way or another, influenced the lives they came in contact with.

They did not "cut notches in the stock of their Winchesters", keeping score of what they had done and how many people they brought into a relationship with Christ. Instead, they went through life living their faith and sharing their faith quietly in who they were and what they did. And if you were to ask them about something they had done or said, they might have shrugged their shoulders and asked, "Well, it isn't a question of why, it's a statement of why not?

One of the people who passed away had been an executive in a major Florida utility company. He could have sat back in his comfortable life and left life challenges to others. But he saw needs and people who were hurting and spent his life doing the best he could for every person he met. Not for his own sake but for the sake of Christ, asking himself, "What would Jesus do?" And trying his best to respond.

The other person was a pastor's wife. She was never in the forefront of the ministry of the church. But she was always there when there was a need and she conveyed a quiet and consistent faith that was contageous.

I hope you'll reflect upon John Wesley's words, perhaps asking yourself, "How do I measure up to Wesley's challenge?"

Oh, God in heaven:

Help me forget self and focus on

the needs around me

and equip me to do - to do - unto others.

AMEN



      



God of Zion,

to you even silence is praise.

Promises made to you are kept -

you listen to prayer -

and all living things come to you.

When wrongdoings become

too much for me,

you forgive our sins

Psalm 65:1-3

Many years ago, before I was in the pastorate, Joyce and I taught a sixth grade Sunday School class in a large church. It was a good class with lively and intelligent 'tweenagers' and it was a joy being involved with them.

However, as I have reflected on that teaching experience I'm reminded that all of us tend to put ourselves in molds - things we like to do to the exlusion of things we're less comfortable with.

In the case of this class, I was the teacher, Joyce was the pray-er. I'd go all the way through the lesson and at the end I would turn to Joyce and ask, "Will you give the closing prayer?" It became a weekly habit, but she never resisted my request.

Years later, thinking about this, I was puzzled why this pattern had evolved. Then it hit me right between the eyes: I was afraid to pray out loud in front of the children; I didn't want them to hear an adult fumble for the right words. Especially when my words were directed to God.

I've come to the conclusion that we need to accept our own imperfection. God accepts us the way we are - faltering, fearful prayers and all. God accepts our stuttering, stammering prayers as well as those filled with flowing and flowery prose - and maybe, were the truth known, the hesitant, humble prayer is the one God likes best.

Since the time of that sixth grade Sunday School class, I've found a new joy in prayer, public or private. I still may fumble at times, but I sense an assurance that God hears and responds to my prayers, fumbles and all.

All powerful and loving God:

Put the prayers of my heart on the lips of my mouth.

Remind me of your willingness to respond

to every prayer and that you are

always within hearing range.

AMEN

Living Faith

Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity,

overlooking the sin of the few

remaining for his inheritance?

He doesn't hold on to his anger forever;

he delights in faithful love.

                                                                                                  Micah 7:18                   

I'm sorry!

I've said it a hundred times or more - to my wife - to our children - to friends and people I've worked with.

                                                                                          I'm sorry!

But did I really mean it? Or was it just so much lip service? Were the words empty or real? Did saying I was sorry make any difference in the life of the one to whom I apologized?

Perhaps the other person said, "I've heard that before." The expression of penitence had been made so many times before in so many ways it had become like the 'chicken little' story where eventually no one was willing to believe or even care whether you said anything or not. The words had become empty.

And what about God? How many times have we apologized to God for not being the sort of person he would prefer us to be? Have our words to God been shallow and insincere? Have we allowed ourselves to leave God out of our life equation? 

Perhaps this is the day in life for each of us to go into the depths

of our hearts and find a way to say to God, "I could have been better"; "I need to be better"; "I want to be better"; "I will be better in my professions of faith - through Christ."

Eternal Father in Heaven:

Help me be more honest in my confession

of weakness and sin. 

Forgive the emptiness of my words

and put spiritual substance in my soul.

Through Christ I pray:

AMEN